The Raven & The Ram
by smalldeaths
Summary: Two years after her sixteenth birthday and Raven is still very afraid of her demon side. Can a formidable enemy finally encourage her to embrace it...? Our dimension isn't the only one, and more than just the original five Titans are about to find that out.
1. Chapter 1

Saying this once, the Teen Titans aren't mine, neither is anything affiliated with that, etc, etc.

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She always woke up with a start - she woke up like that first breath of air was a jolt to her heart. Nightmares came with the territory, unfortunately. Those nightmares had a gentle ebb and flow. Those nightmares were inconsistent to her, but they probably acted on some impulse, something that was consistent to anyone but Raven. Whatever their patterns, the one thing Raven knew is she could not escape them. Her dreams had been showing a favorable emptiness, a sleek slate that let her sleep without anxiety.

But here they were, back again.

When she looked at her hands, she expected to see the marks from two years ago there, still. Even without the yelling red, she felt their weight. Raven felt it every damn day, she felt it most thickly with dreams like this. Her fists were concrete and her powers were like a thick tar that spread over the land when she tried to attack anything. They congealed over her team mates, leaving them hapless and drowning. _Raven, _Robin called at her, _ why did you do this to us? We're a team! _She wanted to sputter out that she knew this, that she was just trying to help, but her lips felt chapped and her lungs were empty.

She couldn't breathe then, she started to choke and -

That's where she woke up, with no sign of redemption in sight. Her skin felt slick with a thin layer of sweat and she could feel her blood pounding in her temples. Her heartbeat's speed was unstoppable and her breathing tripped along after it. There wasn't enough air in the world. Her hands clutched the covers tight for some support. By now she knew there was no use in trying to comfort herself, trying to out maneuver what her unconscious had thrown her way. It was all about riding it out, waiting for the storm to pass and the waves to die down so she could walk away from this hell of a beach.

It wasn't working as well as she would've liked it to today - until she found something else to clutch onto. It curled down the hall, floated through her door lackadaisically. Thump of a mutant's heartbeat: Beast Boy's snoring. Loud, pressing, and omnipotent in the iconic T. It was steady and made it obvious that someone was getting sleep around here. Something about that noise calmed her, at least enough to where oxygen was efficient again. But her mind wouldn't be set at ease.

Raven pulled herself out of bed, walked over to her vanity table. There was the mirror, right where it always was. Heavy pewter fitted with gems like the one on her forehead. She picked it up in a thin hand, smiling when she felt the familiar weight in her hand. Without thinking too hard about it, she was softly pulled into Nevermore. She floated over an immense library, full of books that she had read at one point or another. She stored them here, in her mind, in case she ever needed them. Raven took her time moving through Nevermore's open atmosphere; it was early morning back at home and Raven knew she wouldn't be falling asleep again.

Two aisles adjoined, forming a large meadow of bookshelves. It was mostly dark on the library's floor, minus one green lampshade between two cross-legged girls. Books were piled wildly between them and to the untrained eye they seemed very unorganized. Not the case, not the case at all. Raven slowed herself, landed softly on the outskirts of their fervent reading. Her cloak-clad emotions looked strange next to her, in her pajama shorts and loose-fitting tank top.

"Reading in the dark is bad for you," Raven said flatly.

"We know," Knowledge said with a bemused smile "but we have more important things to deal with."

"Like your question," said Wisdom, and her voice sounded like warm honey. "Ask it, already." Wisdom didn't have time for beating around the bush.

"Fair enough," the actual Raven said under her breath. "Am I still under my dad's power? Will I... Will I always be like that?"

The answer wasn't pretty, but all three of them had known that before the actual Raven even really asked it. Wisdom chewed her lip. "Of course. You already knew that." She felt pity for herself.

"But that's what makes you so powerful!" Knowledge cried, a bit louder than she meant to. The actual Raven and Wisdom both shushed her harshly. This _was_ a library, after all. "Superbia, hubris," she continued, her voice more hushed. "The most powerful of the sins. We may see ourselves as sins, but at least we're the most powerful...!" Her eyes looked wistful. Raven could rip several universes apart at the seams, she could tear them asunder like cheap fabric. There was something very exciting and wonderful about that, to Knowledge. That kind of power was almost impossible, and it dizzied her with it's intelligence and thickness.

The actual Raven narrowed her actual eyes. "Keep Happiness from interfering with Knowledge," she said seriously.

The remaining emotion nodded solemnly. "Truer words have never been spoken," she sounded like a true patron for the arts.

Raven rolled her eyes and sighed heavily, beginning to levitate and rise from the library floor. "You guys have been..." she paused, fishing for the right word.

"Sufficiently unhelpful?" Knowledge quipped.

"...right." Her voice was quite dry. Raven was further up now and Knowledge's voice just passed her softly. It was true though; this hadn't been very helpful at all.

Back in her favorite dimension, it took a few minutes for her carpet to feel real under her bare feet and then Raven went about getting ready for the day. She brushed her unruly hair; having it short a year or two ago had been very ideal, but it had grown tiring to see the same face everyday. That face held things she wanted to forget, and with time her bones shifted underneath her pale skin but the same eyes always stared back. She might as well change her hair to make up for it. Now it fell just past her shoulders, as pin straight as it had always been. Everything else was more or less the same so the routine never differed from day to day.

Raven's nightmare still hung here, though. Leaving this place hadn't made them disappear into the air and the fear instilled in Raven's heart was very palpable. Her hands trembled just slightly, and her breathing varied from too slow to too shallow. Raven refused to let the feelings take advantage of her. The door opened with ease, and she was surprised to see Beast Boy just a few feet from her. He'd been walking to breakfast too, and he slowed his pace when he saw her, letting her fall in to step next to him. He may talk too much most of the time, but the teen knew when to be quiet and Raven really appreciated that right now... Maybe he was just incredibly tired though.

It was the tired bit, she decided suddenly - when she saw him look at her trembling hands out of the corner of her eye. Beast Boy's jaw went slack for a second like he was about to say something, but she quickly hid them in her cloak and walked a bit faster, outpacing him. Concern rolled off him in waves, but she pulled up a mental barrier to it. _Don't bother asking, I won't tell you._ Her thoughts weren't rough and she knew he couldn't hear her but it was more or less a statement she threw out to the universe.

_Every bit of me is a secret, and I won't tell you why._

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_A/N: Yo, Hi, and so begins my first fic. No idea how this will go but if you're reading this, thanks for joining the ride! (That's actually a complete lie, this should be between 20-25 chapters and I have the whole thing planned out. But still. Thanks for joining the ride!) _


	2. Chapter 2

Argent decided that this was getting very frustrating very fast.

It was almost a year since the Brotherhood had lead their assault on all of the Titans, and out of necessity (sprinkled with a pinch or two of irrational fear), they had grouped into their respective directions. That left Argent far from her home, up in Chicago. The climate was the same, she supposed; Titan's North got a bit chilly now and then, but the busy city kept them on their toes.

Keeping your blood pumping, that kept you warm.

Today, though, today she could've used a spell to sit.

The street was in complete chaos because of gallons of muddy rain. She could barely stay in the air, could barely make out her teammates' forms through the thick, fabricated storm around her. It threatened to pull her in, and that's what kept her far. Argent felt completely useless - she would be powerless in winds like that, but this far away she couldn't tell what was going on.

What she did know was in the middle of all that chaos stood a boy and a girl. Their faces were obscured; the boy wore a large ram's head, pulled until it was just bone. It hung so you couldn't see his features, even through the eye sockets. The girl had something like a raven's skull; but it was far too big. There was nothing with a visage like that on this planet. Argent has a sneaking suspicion that they weren't from here anyway.

When they had arrived, it was with a loud tear, like something very precious had been torn in two. The ram rode a plateau over asphalt, and it had left the team agape. What was sandstone doing in _Chicago_? Kole had spun in the air into a sort of pick-axe, her legs tight together and her arms arched out wide. Gnarrk moved fast towards the boy, smashing Kole through the rock he controlled. It shattered like sand, and a new one rose up from the asphalt. There was something eerie about it. Even Red Star balked before calling the girl's name in the sky. "_Argent!"_ his voice was a loud shriek into the sky, and he threw his arm towards the girl with the avian skull.

She had nodded quickly, bob cut bouncing with the movement. She swooped down, created a large hand with her plasma-like energy, snaring the girl in it. She was as thin as a twig and wore a simple sundress that appeared as if it had been soaked-through. Her hair was long and thick, also incredibly wet. Her skin was ashen, paler and whiter than even... oh, whatshername, that girl that everyone assumed Argent should've gotten along with perfectly... oh, Raven! That was it. Huh, odd similarity...

Her distractions had let the girl slip through the fist, and Argent chided herself but remained calm. She was not one to become upset or overwhelmed easily.

She flew closer to the ground, and suddenly a river was ripping it's way down the streets. _Get in the game, Argent!_ There weren't any excuses for this. Quickly, she surveyed the scene seeing where she would be needed more. Kole and Gnarrk were climbing over tightly packed rocks, moving to where the ram seemed to be getting further and further from the two. Red Star wasn't anywhere to be seen. She scanned for the source of the water, and quickly made a plasma wall to block it off.

That is where they had created the storm, leaving Argent abandoning her teammates.

Adrenaline had kicked in, and Argent threw her lithe body into the malestrom. She could hardly see, but as she moved closer a few things became easier to make out. There was the girl, hauling chunks of hail at the Russian. Argent pulled together a large, electric fan and placed it on the makeshift-dam, letting it blow all the muddy water in the air away. Still, though, the girl pulled huge chunks of ice to throw at her teammate. Understandably, there was water everywhere but... there didn't seem to be any real effort in her collection of it. Shouldn't she have as least seen her move it from the gutters, or collect it from the atmosphere? She was pulled from the thought with a noise; with a loud growl, Gnarrk professed that he'd reached the ram and now he was so fevered that the strange boy couldn't escape from his fury. However, he turned his gaze to the raven girl. Argent could barely follow the gaze fast enough, but the girl was already meeting it. He leapt from Gnarrk and Kole with an unfathomable speed, and this... this is where things got really hard to follow.

He wrapped one arm around the girl's small frame, using his broad back to shield her from Red Star's various radiation blasts. With his other hand, her made a fist and pulled it from the top of his head to his lower stomach. There was another sound, another precious tear and suddenly there was a rip in her vision. Argent found it very hard to describe, even to herself and even when she had seen it. It was like... her eyes skipped over this particular foot in the horizon. It was like the air was too hot and the ground was too cold and it was a million things at once, and all the sudden all three were gone; the ram, the raven and the tear had torn themselves straight from existence.

Argent looked at the ground. Kole was herself again, brushing dirt of Kole and talking to him soothingly. Red Star was looking up at Argent, trying to see if she was alright. She nodded quickly, and pulled her communicator from her skirt. "Titans North to Robin... we're gonna need a hand."

* * *

_A/N_:

_Shortish chapter, but I wanted to introduce these guys so I could post these chapters in rapid succession. Ah, the title's got a double meaning, huh? Most information about these Titan's powers (and the fact that they even make up the Titan's north) is from the Teen Titans wiki, and kudos to my friend Alyssa for creating the ram & the raven's designs; I just picked their wicked powers wooo! And, of course, these two are icebergs. Just wait ;)_


	3. Chapter 3

As soon as she walked into the main room, she knew something wasn't right. The whole day felt like it was part of a weird dream sequence. Reality seemed far, but she was very sure that this was reality. Kind of made the weirdness weirder, though.

Raven's fears were affirmed when she saw Robin, a bit more agitated than usually.

"We've got a problem," he said, and he wouldn't look her in the eyes. She didn't take it personally. That was simply his way; when something was serious, strained or just new, it was a problem and he treated everyone like they were a part of it. He didn't mean to, it was simply his way. "Meet you all in the briefing room."

Then he was gone, and Raven turned to look at Beast Boy who had trailed behind her a bit. He shrugged, and his face looked as lost as she felt. She was grasping at straws when she looked at him for assurance. Mentally, she groaned. Was everyone going to be this helpful today?

If so, it was going to be a really horrible and long day.

Raven rubbed an eye with her knuckles as she trailed the green teen down the hallway. This day was proving to be much more stressful than it needed to be, which was really a shame - it'd just started. Already though, she clenched and unclenched her fists for some relief. Maybe Raven should just sneak down the hallway back to bed... Maybe she wasn't supposed to get up today and she could just drift back to sleep and pretend like the nightmare and the conversations with herself had never happened. Thinking of her warm bed made her tired -

"Raven! I asked what you thought about it?" Agitation jumped from him like a solar flare.

Raven met the masked eyes, quickly tried to take in what was happening. She'd dozed off - that was pretty embarrasing, honestly. She was supposed to be the epitome of focus and she fell asleep in the _mission briefing room_.

Okay, there was footage on the screen from a security camera. Quickly, she took in the other Titans on the screen. Argent, Kole, Gnarrk and Red Star. Alright, so this was a bit away from them.

She blinked quickly, feeling the eyes of four other Titans on her as she registered the enemy on screen. Their expectations probed into her mind softly, waiting. The boy looked like he had walked through the desert, a bit reminiscent of Terra all that time ago. Windblown clothes, dusty hair partially covered by a the ram's bone. Raven blinked again, switching her view to the girl. The skull on _her_ head gave even Raven the creeps; it was clearly a bird skull, but not anything from around here.

When she saw the ram pull desert rock from where asphalt was, she went slack-jawed. It took a lot to put Raven's face like that, it took a lot to unhinge her balanced attitude. She was the queen of composure through and through. But he... he just _created matter. _

That wasn't natural and it wasn't right. Matter can neither be created or destroyed, only transferred. Raven got shivers when she noticed that nothing was being transferred. The only other person to notice this was Beast Boy - for the other three Titans oozed anticipation but next to her he was drowning in dread.

"Well," she said, trying to think of the right words. The others were clueless, she noticed, waiting for her to be their redemption of knowledge. Raven, destroyer of worlds, drop some knowledge on us.

"Well," she said again "They look... they look like some kind of pagan or wiccan influences." She cleared her throat "Like deities, or something."

Three blank faces continued to stare at her, but an additional one just got more worried and worried. She eyed the furrowed, green brow.

She licked her lips.

"Or, I mean, that's what I thought just on their appearance. But the powers..." She looked down again, biting her lower lip for a minute. "Most likely, they are not from this planet - or dimension, honestly."

Finally, it registered with a quick and sharp nod from Robin.

"Yeah, that's what I was thinking - Look at this:" He pulled the video up to a certain segment, where the ram had his arm tight around the girl and was pulling his fist through the air.

Raven squinted her eyes as her fears were affirmed for the second time that day.

Through the screen it was fuzzy, but still gave her the chills. There was that blip in time, like a foot of the world was just missing and reality had to play over it awkwardly. It was a square of footage missing, it was the blurry horizon when the heat index soared. They'd seen rips in time before, they'd seen portals to other worlds but this was much more unnerving; they were stabbing in the dark about these two.

There was total silence before she cleared her throat again.

"Alright, well we know that they're big on self preservation." She tried to be a voice of reason and make this sound approachable, manageable. Tried to make them sound human. "As soon as the ram was looking at potential failure, he fled. And, uh, see that - yeah, that right there."

"He holds on to her very tightly - they care about each other very much so if one is losing, they both are." Raven squints and when she speaks she doesn't like this undertone in her voice. Everyone else ignores it, so she does too.

That made them sound less impossible and Raven felt a small swell of pride for that. Still... they hardly knew anything. There was a tangible silence that settled over them as this was realized.

There was nothing left to be said except for one thing, which Robin contributed.

"Titans North will have a much better time with us around. So, pack your bags, guys.

"You might want to bring a sweater."

Starfire threw a laugh for his benefit, but Cyborg and Beast Boy just stared. The joke was made worse by Beast Boy's continued silence. Normally he would've countered with something much worse.

"Pithy," Raven contributed.

It was then that they broke apart.

"Man, I'm gonna put some updates on the T-Car. Talk about the sickest road trip ever!" Cyborg was mostly muttering to himself as he left the room, cracking his knuckles.

Beast Boy sat very still for a moment, and Raven realized she hadn't heard a word from him all day.

That worried her a lot, actually, for various reasons.

First off, it was creepy to go that long without talking. Just creepy. After that, well... he should have a lot to say, right? He was the chatterbox, the relief for the group in times like this. And he was just mute. Rigid. His emotions felt blank, but there were small undertones of fear. The scurried around at her feet, afraid of being seen and shameful of their existence.

He got up calmly and walked away. She stared after him, trying to get her thoughts in order.

"Raven..." Robin called to her absentmindedly.

She turned her head and saw him sitting with Starfire. He didn't bother to look up at her, he was busy burying his nose three inches into a stack of papers. The Tamaranian was a dutiful partner next to him, naive of what he was doing but interested nonetheless.

That thought summed up their relationship accurately.

"Why don't you check on Beast Boy." His voice betrayed that Beast Boy's strange behavior was the last thing on his mind, as always. He threw the words out of obligation, opened his mouth because it was his duty.

No one would ever say it, but he could be a bit selfish sometimes.

Raven rolled her eyes. She wanted to tell him that his worry was simply suffocating but she just stood up, brushing her thighs off as she walked out of the room.

Once she was in the hallway, she started probing for Beast Boy's mind signature. Normally it was an easy thing to find, like his snoring. Beast Boy was vivid and loud, he was exuberant and persistent. Very little slowed him down.

But with how he was acting today it took Raven a little while to even think about what she was searching for. Softly, she let her mind escape through the building, and she pictured it all very clearly. She pictured the hallways and the feel of the floor under her feet. Beast Boy was not inside - the information came like a quick jolt. Look up, her mind told her and Raven bit her lip a bit.

Something about walking to the roof seemed like a hassle, so she let the raven's shadow envelop her and she went, well, up. The building fell away from her. Moving through concrete and metal was casual, effortless.

Once she was there she felt the sun on the back of her neck. It was probably only noon, and the wind was warm but with a soft, salty smell. He sat near the edge, studying his knee intently.

This was more worry for her. Raven didn't like to think of herself as a worrier - she wanted to be apathetic at best. But she was cursed as an empath, she was cursed as a portal to the end of everything. She would spend the rest of her life trying to make up for that, trying to fill the world with good until it swelled up with her kindness.

"Beast Boy," her throat sounded dusty, like words weren't something she used very often. It was just the way she felt that made them sound like that.


	4. Chapter 4

The thing about California is that it sneaks up on you sometimes. At noon you'd expect heat and you'd expect the weather to be uncomfortable. Today, though, it was soft. California kissed Raven's cheek with a soft wind, and for once the world seemed very quiet. As a whole, it had gone silent to listen to what the empath would tell the changeling.

Jump City rocked on it's toes like an expectant child, eyes wide when she walked towards him as an answer to his silence.

Everyone but the two of them knew about this. Eyes were on them at all times. Maybe, maybe two years ago it hadn't been that much. It'd been friendly banter. But this was two years later and things had changed drastically.

Beast Boy, he thought about Raven right before he fell asleep. She was his goodnight kiss, he thought of the map of her face and an atlas of how her hair fell over her shoulders. What was so appealing was hard to pinpoint - maybe it was her distance, the fact that he would most likely never be able to trace his finger down the road of that map, press his face towards the crease of the atlas.

He had watched her in weak moments, played them over in his mind as his goodnight kiss. Moments where she admitted to herself that continuing to cut her hair was something to be bridled against. He saw the fabric of her cheeks rumpled when she woke up without sleep. Saw the deep ridges under her eyes, like forgotten valleys, when nightmares kept her up. He understood when she passed substantial food for tea - tea calmed a nervous stomach, food only mucked it up.

It was difficult, but Beast Boy never mentioned these things to Raven. In his mind, staying quiet was like making a compromise to her. It was a sort of promise, and maybe it would throw him in her good graces.

Sometimes he really hated that he wanted to be there so badly.

In two years, he had become taller than her. His wiry body grew a bit more wiry that first year, but his muscles finally caught up with his frame in the second. His hair was unmanageable, his nose sharp and his eyes emotive. That snaggle tooth, that fang, it finally was hidden in his jaw, only peaking out from his bottom lip when he smiled exceptionally.

In two years, Raven's hair was a few inches below her collarbone. She was still the same height, but her body had curved a bit more. She was still a petite girl, but compared to the Tamaranian stick, she was a stormy sea. Her faux-callousness had fallen down a bit, and she could be caught with an awkward smile now and then. Her eyes were deep and her fingers long, and spiderlike. Her joints were knobby and when Beast Boy smiled exceptionally, she let her hair fall in her face so she wouldn't have to see.

Beast Boy may have understood how he felt about her, but Raven kept her emotions locked up in the truest sense of the word. If she had feelings for him, they were trapped down in the maze of her mind and were being refused any acknowledgment.

That was how they both entered this moment.

Sitting next to him, she let the silence sit down too, a welcome third party between them. It lounged comfortably as Raven fished for what to say.

A few seagulls clamored on the rocks below.

She noticed Beast Boy's emotions were mixed. There was the scurrying fear again, like mice running around her feet and up her legs. Apprehension swooped in and out of the space between them, and there was some other emotion that was too shy and small to show it's head to Raven. It hid in the boy's sternum, and she didn't probe to see what it was.

"You know I can tell how you feel," she finally said, and the dustiness of her voice had gone away. "You might as well tell me _why_ you feel that way."

Her blatantness surprised Beast Boy, and he wished he knew why. He turned over an introspective, new leaf for life, but that didn't increase his brain capacity at all. He didn't know himself very well, and sometimes he suspected he hid as much as Raven did.

She didn't like to share about herself, but maybe if he let his tongue fall out of his mouth then she would do the same.

Thoughts for goodnight kisses seemed empty and he would like words to match with them.

"You know... It's just..." he made a fist with his hand, put it on his knee. His eyes were closed, "I'm an animal, Rae." His voice was as small as the scurrying fears, and she rolled her eyes at the nickname.

Their teammates could get away with calling her that (even an occasional Rae-Rae from Cyborg) but she held Beast Boy to different standards.

"I'm an animal, animals like sure things - solid things. They like familiarity, you know, they like earth stuff."

She was tempted to make a comment about how he was so good at conveying his thoughts, but she bit her tongue. He was opening himself up to her, voluntarily anyway. She already knew exactly how he felt before he spoke, but it was nice to hear his words.

"These things give me the total creeps, dude." A bit of his comedic side was coming out with the 'dude'. Being serious made him nervous and nervousness made him fearful so he'd decided to nip that in the bud. Beast Boy gave himself fake shivers and let one eye slit open to see Raven's reaction.

She noticed, and cracked a diminutive smile for his benefit.

"He just pulled the desert right out of asphalt, and that portal was trippy. To say the least." His smile was brighter now, not an exceptional smile, but a nice one. He sighed, after.

"It's scary. Just knowing that they're from somewhere else and I mean," he placed his hand on the back of his neck, looked at his ankles. "I know we've dealt with baddies from all over the universe but we always knew _something _about them. And I wasn't comfortable then, either..." he trailed off, but there was another thing waiting on the tip of his tongue.

He knew he didn't have to say it.

_I'm afraid._

_"_Cy's half robot, Star's an alien and Robin just has no self-preservation. I feel like I'm the only one with my tail between my legs."

He left the girl next to him out on purpose; she was half demonic, she herself was that tear to another planet. She had harnessed numerous rips to everywhere.

These two were her element, she mused.

Raven made a life changing decision in that moment, and let her smile grow wide. Beast Boy turned, and laughed a little. He was thinking that smiling like that was a foreign thing for the empath and he didn't even know her muscles could exercise themselves together to make a shape that even resembled a smile.

(But he liked it.)

"You didn't count me," she said softly, and the words were not the accusation he had already braced himself for, "and arguably, I'm the same as these two. So, what's so scary about that? They're a lot like me."

She had meant to be comforting, but all the sudden Beast Boy broke into a jagged grin and his laughter exploded from his lungs. She frowned as he held his sides together and leaned over the edge of the tower. He was laughing so heavily he couldn't catch his breath again.

Kind person that she is, Raven swatted him harshly on the back. Beast Boy wheezed out a breath as his arms flew out and about for balance. Inevitably, he fell off the ledge, but soon swooped back up as a crow. He landed next to her before shifting back.

"Rude much?" Laughter tugged at his words, and Raven just glared at him. "No offense Rae, but you're probably the most terrifying thing ever. For your sweet sixteen, the world ended."

That nickname again.

His tone changed then. "You're the most powerful person on the team," he looked down and suddenly was very sheepish, "the most powerful person ever, probably."

Raven was still perturbed, and furrowed her brow.

"With the way you talk to me though, clearly you aren't afraid. I'd blast you to Chicago and back with one more sly comment." Typical eye roll.

That fear though, it was already very far from his mind. To the public, he was one of the best and the brightest, but to her Beast Boy was as dense as a brick. This time was no different. Fear had finally scurried away, silence was long gone and the emotion that had buried itself between Beast Boy's ribs was swelling bigger and it made her feel seasick.

"You're totally scary, though." He'd inched closer to her, and she stared at him dubiously.

All at once she regretted her thirst for kindness and every word she had said because it was Raven's turn to be afraid and he was closer and she was suffocating. A fish out of water, her heart flopped uselessly in her chest, splaying it's gills that hardly felt. A rush to her brain, _this is not okay. _

This was the reason she kept her eyes closed at nights. There was a fire behind her navel, a full moon where her third eye should be and she was always very, very afraid. His snoring calmed her down but his regular breathing sped her up and he was very close now. Her thoughts ran onto each other like a tragic intersection collision. Every organ in her body was a casualty.

_Bump, bump, bump_. Her heart was the chaotic motor, the one that had turned everything else into wrecked metal and anguished screams.

He was lucky there was almost nothing to break, but very unlucky that he was the one thing she could've broken. Everything was reined in suddenly though, and Raven chided herself knowing that she had almost let everything run wild and amuck.

There may have to be another visit with Knowledge and Wisdom and more answers that she already knew to questions she didn't have to ask.

Beast Boy's eyes were opened, and he studied her cautiously, knowing that she was about to clamor away. What he didn't know was that his clumsy fingertips had already grazed her hidden heart and she hated him for it.

"We should pack then, if you're not scared." Her voice was a dry challenge, and she stood up abruptly. His eyes scanned her's worriedly, hurriedly, trying to take in all that he could before she disappeared again. The raven's shadow folded over her again and casually, easily, she fell through the floor to her own room.

There went his pumpkin carriage and his princess; she hadn't even left a shoe for him.

Silence sat back down next to the shapeshifter, and he let out a trademark, anguished teenager sigh.

* * *

_A/N:_

_So I really hadn't planned on having two chapters posted today (I'd feel really bad if you guys expected me to update like this all the time and then I let you down!) but I was in a totally blissed out mood and find writing scenes like this pretty easy so I just sat down and went to work._

_Most people who've read my writing remark that I lend a daydream-esque appeal to what I present. It wasn't evident in the previous chapters, but it probably is here. I like writing stuff like this, and I tried very hard to be true to their characters. Woooo. I just comfort myself knowing that this pairing _is _endgame. Otherwise all this would probably make me want to pull my hair out._

_Useless author's note as always! _


	5. Chapter 5

"What are you listening to?" His question was innocent enough, and so Raven held an earbud out for him.

Normally, she would just read but the movement of the car had proved to be a bit too much for her stomach - music (especially with lyrics) wasn't something she relied on often. She really wished that they could've just flown, or done something else to get there quicker.

Cyborg insisted, and no one really wanted to take the joy away from them.

She turned her attention to the clementine in her crossed legs as the changeling made funny faces next to her. She'd grabbed it from the counter just as they left. No guarantees it would've been safe to eat by the time they got back - whenever that would be. Deft fingers pulled back the thick skin of it, and she tried to just focus on that - ever since her nightmare, things were not how they should've been.

She felt as if she was losing control, and that got under her skin. The fact that she couldn't kick her trepidations out from under there, that was even more frustrating.

"Rae, what's this band called?" He had startled her, so she blinked for a moment but didn't move her gaze. He sounded genuinely interested, and then she looked at him from the corner of her eye.

"Dead Man's Bones." Her voice was soft, but terse nonetheless.

"Morbid." He made a face, and stuck his tongue out. Maybe he was trying to parody a corpse.

"I could make you a corpse, easier than that." Raven deadpanned listlessly.

"Jeez, I was just trying to make you smile..." For once in their lives, it was his turn to roll his eyes.

Raven made a small smirk, and he saw it. He returned it with a beam, and quickly the empath was back to glowering.

A small smile proved to be enough, though, and Beast Boy leaned back, putting his hands behind his head. Little red smirk, framed by thick, wavy, purple hair and violet eyes that betrayed more than they knew - he could sleep soundly with just that image in the front of his mind. His elbow rested behind Raven's, but she didn't shoot him a look or say anything.

Mild discomfort was worth the silence.

Every now and then, he'd speak up.

"What's this?"

"VCR, by the xx."

"What about this one, Rae?"

"Raven. Fake Empire, by The National."

They stayed in their own little bubble, and for once she didn't mind it. Seclusion was her forefront, and she never would've imagined that having Beast Boy inside her seclusion could be so comfortable - the best trick he'd learned to date was shutting up at the right moments. Cyborg was chatting Star's ear off about mechanics, and Robin was just trying to snatch at the radio from beside Beast Boy - he was in the middle of the back seat. Beast Boy had created a cushion from the boy blunder, and so Raven was left in peace.

Spider fingers pricked into the soft flesh of the clementine, and she popped the section of it into her mouth. It felt like an empty action - the mundane task of pulling it apart had been what was keeping her occupied.

When she looked at her fingers again, sticky from the tart juice, they were different than what she expected to see. Instead of citrus sticky, her fingers looked like they were melting. Discolored, now they shifted to black.

Tar.

Shaking them quickly, Raven bit her lip quickly and tried to stifle everything she felt. She must've done a good job - Beast Boy only looked up momentarily.

"You okay?"

"Of course," she hardly stumbled in her speech, and grabbed the mp3 player, "Hey, listen to this. At the Hop, by Devendra Banhart."

"Makes me want pancakes." He smiled - she was alarmed at how she suddenly felt better with that smile. Out of hundreds of combinations of those muscles, he came up with this protective, relaxed smile that made her relax a bit into the seat.

She didn't return it though.

The last lines rattled out, as they pulled up to Titan's North, and the empath found herself clutching at her thighs - anything to just calm down a little bit. Crooner that he was, Devendra Banhart had no problem pulling the anxiousness out of her chest.

Although she wasn't in any mood to meet new people, she walked in with the rest of them. Two seconds of thought, and a familiar, albeit blank, mask settled comfortably on her features. After a beat, she remembered that these weren't new people - she'd fought along side them comfortably enough in the past. A stiffness she hadn't noticed in her shoulder's suddenly dissipated.

Starfire immediately flocked to Argent and began spilling out all these apologies for leaving so quickly forever ago. Leaving her in the mess of the Brotherhood, that was. Since Argent had been one of the Titan's frozen, Starfire had always carried a bit of guilty grief for something she wasn't able to prevent.

"Star," Raven pulled the syllable out, her raspy and low voice making it seem even longer. "That was like a year ago."

"Yes friend, but still - "

Argent made a wilting face for a moment and then finally spoke up, interrupting the Tamaranian.

"Nah, she's right - it's in the past." When Starfire looked like she was ready to dispute the both of them again, Argent continued "What's important is you're here now! And, er, there's no time like the present...?" It was an attempt, but the overactive girl seemed placated.

Everyone grouped up then, just for a moment. Inevitably, Raven was left with Argent - honestly, she doubted that they had much in common. The other Titans - and the media, to boot - always lumped them together, like they should be friends.

Sure, fashion choices had been some kind of link at first, but now that they were older they were more subtle. Not to mention, Argent was laid back whereas Raven was uptight. If she ever appeared relaxed, it was more that she had finally achieved some level of apathy that was much more comfortable than being painfully aware of everyone around her.

Finally, she decided to bite the bullet and say something.

"So, do you know where we'll all be staying?"

The other girl opened her mouth to answer, but something else caught everyone's attention.

Nine communicators buzzed, but Kole was the one to confirm it -

"They're back."

Two ominous words and everyone jumped.

With nine Titans en route to the two dimensional-interlopers, Raven could feel their pounding thoughts around her. She swore she was the only one that remembered they were still kids - their emotions wouldn't let her forget it.

Kole worried for Gnarrk, Gnarrk worried for Kole. Red Star felt the same apprehension before every battle - what if something happened again, what if there was some unforeseen incident and he decimated the whole town while only trying to help? Robin was always a strange cocktail of angst, some misplaced desire to prove himself, and zero self preservation. He was a jock, but he teetered on the edge of the world. Starfire had her boughs of insecurity as well, but she balanced them more carefully. By that, she simply wouldn't acknowledge them. Raven felt some admiration for her, in that manner. Cyborg was determination, protectiveness, and a sharp edge of loneliness. That third one was always hiding on some angle of his conscious, and it made Raven worry for him. Beast Boy had the same self-preservation complex as Robin, and the emotion between his ribs bellowed out freely now. She still couldn't place it, and in his animal form his emotions tended to be less trifling.

The air smelled dry, when she placed her feet on the ground. She'd ended up closer to one opposite than the other. The ram's shirt was dusty, disheveled, the hair on his arms and the back of his head was nearly white with desert sand. His mouth probably tasted like sand paper. Raven looked around quickly to see who she was with - Beast Boy, Red Star and Argent. She and the other girl shared a quick nod. Their powers were a bit alike, and so they ended up lumping themselves together.

Raven levitated herself only a handful of feet off the ground - she didn't need to be high up, but maneuverability was easier when levitating than on her feet. She was quick on her feet only moving forward; dodging things on foot was more for Star. She looked at the scene and the boy on his fabricated plateau, taking it all in. It was hard to decide how to start - Red Star was already sending small bursts of radiation at the ram, but he seemed unfazed. Beast Boy was a jaguar, stalking low, trying to decide where to strike like she and Argent were.

They were all in the dark, looking for his weak spot - or just trying to decide how to maneuver this. Raven decided to make the first real move.

She touched her ring fingers together, thinking of the crown chakra, and pulled them apart quickly. Her palms were flat, and she repeated those three key words before letting the energy fly from her life line.

For a moment, her throat closed up when her soul self looked so much like tar. _That's because your soul _is_ tar, stupid girl._ Raven knew it was her mind playing tricks on her, and swallowed the painful lump in her throat in order to surround the ram and hold him still.

Once that was done, though, she didn't know what to do with him. In her palms was a creature she was certain was not from this planet - no matter where she put him, he would escape. All this effort suddenly seemed very useless and disheartening. A wave of smugness rolled off of him, and his chin tilted up a bit. He must've noticed the conclusion she came to.

Suddenly, her force was faltered. Raven broke concentration, just for a moment. She felt a chill, and without searching found the eyes of the other raven - well not eyes, per se, but an intense stare. It was an unbroken feeling, but it was more than vision. Gentle force on her constant barriers. There was something about that look... that girl had been the one to make her break concentration...

"Raven!" It was Argent's voice, accent making it sound more urgent than it might've been.

She turned to see that her energy had dissolved in her brief repose, and a great, desert rock was hurtling at her.

She merely blinked, not thinking fast enough to do much about it. Time decayed rapidly for her. Raven's mind felt lazy, like it was moving through something much thicker than just consciousness. Something about that raven... she couldn't even focus on the hunk of earth on a collision course with her. That damned girl...

A caribou pushed itself off torn up asphalt, reaching Raven's low altitude and bounding in front of her. A flash of emerald, a flash of rippling fur. Arch of the neck, twin antlers pointed towards the makeshift-missile. They were soft, still covered with downy velvet - what a stupid thought, to dwell on when they would fall off in a bloody spring. They did release the brunt of the damage, creating fissures in the compacted sand so that it broke apart easier when it crashed on the deer's ribcage.

Ever calm, Raven did not make a sound as the deer collided with her as well. It wasn't as bad as she thought it was going to be; two opposite forces had met, and slowed down she was no longer in the line of fire. He hit her legs, knocking her backwards. For a moment, she was loose from her own gravity. She steadied herself in the air, and looked at a newly transformed Beast Boy, laying in a heap of sand. Chunks of it were strewn in his green hair, one pointed ear was buried, along with a right leg and a good portion of both arms. She shook her head quickly, a degrading but silent promise that she'd be back in a moment.

"Don't hold back!" Her voice echoed among buildings, and through the chaos (and several overturned cars, pulled up asphalt and decimated streets) the other squadron of Titan's heard her. Five pairs of eyes - four, actually, since Kole was currently occupied - flashed up in recognition of the steal in her voice. She supposed she had quite a reputation, if those who didn't even know her that well had a reaction to her change in tone. Everyone seemed to trust Raven on this front, and listened. Her words had been aimed at Red Star, mostly - she knew his fears.

Argent had created a great baseball bat with her plasma energy and was hurling masses of radiation that Red Star supplied towards the ram. She chuckled lightly.

"The American past time... it's funny, becos - you know, neither of us is American."

Red Star gave her an exhausted smile. Clearly he was used to flat jokes like this.

They had the ram under control for a moment, but there was fatigue riding heavy on everyone. They hadn't been fighting for too long, but this was a war they didn't know how to wage. Energy was being wasted with clumsy ignorance. No matter what, their fighting was useless - they wouldn't know what to do when they won. (And when they got close to winning the ram would escape, which they knew.)

Convinced that the ram was being dealt with, and pressed with the issue of Beast Boy staring up at the sky like he just now noticed it was blue, Raven let her counterpart slip her mind. Tragic, that.

"A damn deer," she muttered, and he smiled weakly.

Practiced fingers probed his ribcage, memorizing where every painful face was made. That rib was broken, the ligaments that connected his hips with his spine were contracted in what was probably a very painful manner. Movement would be weak there. She racked her brain to think about his head - no, he'd still been a caribou when the initial impact had hit, so his neck would've taken the strain differently. No direct head injuries, so no concussion. She probed further, and he looked dizzy.

"You can't pass out - you're twice as big as you used to be, and I can't carry you when you are stupid anymore." Something about her biting honesty kept him awake long enough for a retort.

"You're a saint for saying what's on your mind." That puzzled Raven, since it didn't really have to do with anything and was hardly the retort she'd been expecting. She opened her mouth to speak, and his eyes rolled backwards.

"I'll remember that," she muttered to his unconscious body, "You passed out from moderate pain, you're not living that down."

The words fell flat towards the end when she finally remembered the raven.

"Don't let the raven touch you!" She'd flung herself from the ground, a heavy Beast Boy hanging from her shoulder, weighing her down. Desperation painted her figure, and she wouldn't forgive herself from forgetting that the half-wit interloper had tried to get into her head.

Unfortunately, her warning had gone too late to be heard.

The raven had made it dangerously close to Robin; he was fighting only defensively now - she wasn't giving him room for offense. He was using up energy, and she was finding holes in his defense. Starfire was coming to his rescue, but too late -

For the second time of the battle, Raven's standard of time began to decay once more. The girl lifted the beak of her skull back revealing the bottom portion of her face. The skin was pale there, too, with a slather of freckles across a petite nose and chin. Her lips were small and tart, like two halves of a cherry. Except they were only red towards her mouth. The outer edges were blue, like she had been drowned day after day.

She was impossibly close to Robin now. Her chin tilted, and she planted those mermaid lips against Robin's pursed and surprised ones.

"God dammit." Raven just muttered under her breath.

* * *

_A/N: So my holiday gift to you all is a cliffhanger, yipee!_

_Also, those songs (which you should all totally go listen to) were chosen carefully. It's no small secret that I'm writing this mostly because I've been unnerved by the way a lot of people portray her. That little song bit was just my way of disputing the goth thing that I think even the series itself tried to place on her, like a trite kinda thing? _

_Ah, anyway this chapter gave me a lot of trouble, which is why it's a bit late (by my standards, anyway) and it was supposed to be two chapters._

_Thank you so much for all the follows and favorites thus far - that's really been my motivation in this, knowing that people are interested!_


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